Went to the doctors and guess what happened......

So I was already hesitant to go to the doctor's, as anyone would be when knowing there could be progress in your disease or if your disease has gotten worse. I had this.....weird sack of fluid on my middle left finger, which I promptly showed my doctor when at Dartmith, thinking she would just say, "Let the skin break and the sack drain..."
Nope, she wanted to stab it and collect samples! She assured me she knew a spot where it wouldn't hurt. So they bring in these tubes, this needles and lots of gauz. I swallow down any fears, even though I have suggested that they let me prick myself. Dr. Wartmen assures me and tells me she's an expert at this stuff. So she pricks the spot and it doesn't hurt, and she squeezes and takes a sample. than she pricks another, smaller, more sack and pricks it, it bleeds and hurts a little, but otherwise its fine. she starts squeezing both opened spots, collecting blood and fluid. than....she goes in for the smaller sack again and touches a sour spot. i pull back and holler, and i feel more pain. the needle has gone deeper into my finger, clean streaking through several unneccessary layers.
She tsks and reaches quickly for gauz. "See, you shouldn't move." my finger is bleeding, a little spout of blood building, it almsot drops to the floor but she dabs at it in time. now my finger is on fire and i'm pretty pissed, not at her or me or anyone, but just pissed in general! i had thought this would happen, and what do you know, i'm an open Yellow Stone Gyser of blood! My mother insists it could have been much worse but frankly, i have bled a lot in life and i have never seen so much blood come out of a tiny finger so fast.
today Dr. Wartment calls. i have staff, a bacterial infection. i will not be changing any doses in my immune supressant until this staff is cured, because my immune disease needs to be able to fight this. so now i got to soak i ttonight and possibly reopen it, because there is another layer of puss and its getting darker, purplish. ew......not letting anyone but ME  prick my finger, i've learned the hard way. so that was basically my general experience, but than again, there is usually always a story to go with my monthly doctor's appointments at Dartmith.
So, with the blood and gore in the past, i must admit, i am surprised. my condition is improving (though the doctor says that my lupus is my blood streams read im in a flare-up, but i am not in pain or discomfort. my rash has not returned.....what is flaring up?) i must admit, the several pounds i have gained thanks to my eating are starting to concern me. im being self-cnscious now, watching what goes before my eyes before i open the kitchen doors. a carrot, yum. the cheese cake shoved in the corner i pretend is a cake made of raw, unsanitary tofu. leave it to my dad, he buys the greatest treats and i can use my imagination to make them goo-filled, disgusting things in my mind. the one thing though that i will not give up or stop eating is ICE CREAM!!!!!! i deserve a bowl a day, for god sake's! why make my life harder? i know some certain people will read this tomorrow, so let me tell you this. if you stop buying ice cream, i will find my vengance! and trust me, i can easily find ways to make you regret never stopping at the store and buying my chocolate ice cream. (but remember, i loves you, im saying this to a certain peson i know reads my blog every morning and who is ee every night) my roughness in my demand is general, but genuine.more to come.........